The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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