when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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