By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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