i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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