Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
