sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
