so that wasnt chicken after all
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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