So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
