Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
