I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
