Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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