with your own penis?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
