ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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