just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
one might say we're banned from that church
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
