I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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