god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize