Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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