I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
