Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
