I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
