I love black thongs
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
