if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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