You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
