I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
