So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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