Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
