I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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