My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
