somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
