That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
