I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
