It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize