Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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