This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
