oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
