Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
