everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
