i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
