Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize