how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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