no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
