The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
