Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's blow job season.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
