so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize