Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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