I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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