i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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