i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
