I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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