yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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