It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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