I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
