Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
