I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
