if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
