No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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