Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
