I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize