i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
